I woke up this morning thinking about turning cartwheels down the hallway, but then I thought about my long-suffering wife. She is not too terribly fond of calling 911. I thought about letting my inner Rambo out for the weekend, bur then I thought about the people who would be in harm's way and I decided to have mercy on them. Then I thought BACON and realized no one would be harmed except Fred. So BACON it is
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