I used to know some interesting things like I could recite the Pythagorean Theorem, the Gettysburg Address, and the words to "Louie, Louie." I could even intelligently discuss the menu at Applebees with experienced passion and hold my own in a discussion of "Moby Dick." My riff on the whiteness of the whale would cause people to swoon.

All of that is gone now, and all I have left to talk about now are rerurns of "Diagnosis Murder" and the best lunch in Montgomery in 1978. Unfortunately I don't know anybody who cares about these things. Not half the man i used to be, I feel the Victorian vapors settling in.