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I have decided to start a book discussion group in order to do what I can to combat today's loneliness and malaise in society.

Isn't it about time we intellectuals had a good time?

To that end I am bribing my local Pelham public librarian into giving me names of some heavy readers since I personally do not know any readers.

I will personally vouch that any books we select will not have been banned by the state of Alabama. Don't want anyone to face charges for having possession of a banned book.

To speed up book selection I am removing Shakespeare and Fielding from consideration at the outset. Romeo and Juliet and Joseph Andrews are definitely pornographic.

As a bonus I will issue KJV's and we will have Sword Drills to refresh everyone's Biblical literacy.

Lastly I will not be responsible for any funny tasting brownies served during meetings.